Gossip can also serve a protective function within groups. Sharing information about a sexual predator, a thief, or someone who consistently betrays trust isn’t malicious—it’s a warning system. “Gossiping about that person to find out if this information is true or not is actually looking out for the good of the group,” McAndrew says.
The bonding power of gossip even shows up in couples therapy, Abramovici notes. She’s seen partners use gossip about other couples to find common ground—sometimes to reassure themselves (“at least we’re not like them”), and sometimes to articulate what they actually want. “They can say, ‘That couple tried this thing; maybe we should try it,’” she says. “Through that comparison, they can convey what they admire and what they want.”
One of the most striking pieces of evidence that gossip has been misunderstood comes from Robbins’s own research. In a 2019 paper, her team tracked thousands of real-world conversations and analyzed their content. The overwhelming majority of gossip, it turned out, was neither positive nor negative. It was neutral—just people sharing information about other people who weren’t in the room. Someone got a new job; someone had a fourth kid; someone’s the person to go to when you have a tech question. Boring, essentially, but constant and ubiquitous.
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