Often, interpersonal curiosity is discussed solely in reference to reducing conflict and increasing connection with romantic partners. This is because curiosity guards against defensiveness, blame, and escalation. But far less frequently do I encounter people encouraging that same curiosity with our children.
Do they not deserve the same commitment and devotion? Of course, they do. Perhaps more than anyone. They are new here, after all.
The thing about curiosity is that it gives way to compassion, understanding, and dignity. The ultimate gift you can give a child is to take them seriously, and to do it all the time.
Too often, we are content to view children through a lens of control and power, even inadvertently. What happens if we meet every behavior, every tantrum, every joy, every fear with inquisitiveness and importance?
When I tell my five-year-old he can’t have a popsicle before bed and he has a breakdown, screaming that he doesn’t love me anymore, I could engage in a fight. I could meet his language and aggression with equal intensity. I could close my eyes and wish the behavior away.
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