“We looked at how people cope with regret,” says Nolte, “how they were currently trying to resolve those feelings and what they were thinking about for the future. If they had, say, health-related regrets or a work-related regret, and they were thinking, ‘How can I affect what happens in the future? Can I prevent it?’”
The results were striking. Overall, older people weren’t nearly as affected by recent regrets as younger people. And while both old and young reported similar levels of long-term regrets, the older people had less anger, irritation, and embarrassment over what had gone wrong.
“Older adults have fewer hot emotions,” says Nolte. “This was true for both recent and long-term regrets.”
The researchers also looked at whether people tended to regret things they had done—called regrets of commission—vs. things they had not done, or regrets of omission. The former kind were based on active choices, like moving to a different city or choosing a spouse. The latter kind occurred when they didn’t take an action they otherwise could have, like passing up a lucrative investment or not going to college. Young people had more regrets about things they did, while older people had more regrets about things they did not do.
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